you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
