I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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