its not stalking. its research.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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