I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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