I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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