so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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