just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
