The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
