I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
