I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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