My first STD was from a foam party
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
