i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
