Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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