his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
