I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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