Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
