Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
