we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize