I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
nutella sex= disaster
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
