I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Welp...herpes.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
