I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
