You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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