Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize