I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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