How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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