i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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