Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
