Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
