he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
