no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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