u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
