absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
