You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize