how can u be prego again
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize