Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
