just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
