There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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