Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
