I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
