we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
