A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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