Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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