I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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