never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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