so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
