I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
