Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
