I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
