her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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