32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
