Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
