i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just found a bag of teeth...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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