did you get engaged???
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
