I want to make a zoo with you.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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