She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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