someone get that fucking seahorse.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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