Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
