i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
