so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
As shirtless as possible
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Randomize
