He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
